I’m Feeling Overwhelmed

I don’t really know where to start. Once again, I am writing this newsletter late at night and scheduling it for tomorrow morning. I don’t know what to do with how overwhelmed I feel.

Ever since I started marathon training and I began sharing my journey on social media, my life suddenly got overwhelming, more than I expected.

Right now, I am running three times a week, with my long run on Sundays. I go to the gym twice a week. I film, edit, and post at least one running video every week. Every other week, I create a video for this newsletter. I try to stay consistent here too. And on top of all that, I try to maintain a social life and I work a full time job.

At this point, I am juggling more than I can handle. I feel like I am barely holding it together, both mentally and physically.

When the Week Got Out of Control

This week was supposed to be a recovery week. Shorter, easier runs. More rest. Everything was going well until I made one small choice that spiraled into everything I was trying to avoid.

On Sunday, I was supposed to do a simple five mile run at an easy pace. Since I had done nine miles the week before, this should have felt light. Then I decided to join a running group for a 5KM (~3 miles) event on Saturday. I thought it would be a nice chance to meet new people, get outdoors, and simply add two more miles after the run to complete my long run for the week.

The event was a collaboration with a hiking club and the plan was to hike after the run. I told myself it would be fine.

I arrived at Debs Park in LA and it was beautiful. But only the organizer showed up for the run. Everyone else came for the hike. I still thought I could make it work. Three easy miles with him, then I would run two more after.

A minute into the run, he pointed at a steep hill. My heart dropped. I tried to run it at first but quickly decided to save my energy by walking the uphills. Then came a flat section. Then a downhill. Then another uphill. It felt endless. The views were great but I knew this was not the recovery pace I needed. By the time we hit three miles, I was exhausted and disappointed. I knew these miles could not count toward my training.

Then came the hike. I didn’t want to skip the main event, so I stayed. We hiked almost the same route again. In total, I did a three mile run and a three mile hike on what was supposed to be my rest day.

After that, I went to a friend’s birthday party. By the time I got home, I had driven two and a half hours and my body was completely drained.

And the worst part is that I still had to run five miles the next day.

When Exhaustion Catches Up

I ran them but they were miserable. Those five miles felt harder than last week’s nine. And because I had a new video idea, I filmed parts of the run too, which added even more pressure.

On top of that, I had a newsletter idea planned. I had already started editing the video that went with it. But I didn’t have enough time or energy left to finish. I was too overwhelmed to do anything, so I postponed it.

Which brings me here. Writing about being overwhelmed because it is the only real thing I can talk about right now.

Why I Am Sharing This

I know I complained a lot in this newsletter, but this is what the ups and downs of being human look like. This is one of the downs. Even though I am very grateful I can do all these things, I also know I need to manage my time better.

Every time I write, I wonder if others will relate. Maybe you won’t relate to my exact situation, but I know for a fact that everyone goes through phases of feeling overwhelmed or even burnt out.

So if you’re feeling that way too, this is your reminder that you’re not alone. We are all trying our best. We are all navigating busy lives and a fast paced world.

Thanks for reading and for being part of this small space.

If this resonated with you, hit reply, I’d love to hear your story. And if someone came to mind while reading, feel free to share it with them.