Why You Can’t Stay Consistent (and How Accountability Fixes It)

I want to start by saying thank you to my first 50 subscribers who gave me a chance before I even posted. It means the world, and I hope you enjoy the journey with me!

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You wake up, swear you’ll work out after work, but 6PM rolls around and… nope. Again.

Why is it so hard to actually do something you've told yourself to do so many times? Why is it so easy to punt our promises to ourselves—over and over again?

I wish taking action were as simple as having the intention. But unfortunately, it’s not.

So… what can we do about it?

The Power (and Pain) of Habits

A habit is a regularly repeated behavior that becomes almost automatic. Some habits help us—like brushing our teeth or making the bed. Others, like biting our nails or doom-scrolling, drag us down.

The hardest part? Habits are subconscious. They form through repetition, often in childhood. By the time we’re adults, they feel like second nature. So changing them means doing something extremely uncomfortable: becoming conscious of what’s usually automatic—and doing it differently. Over and over again.

And the older we get, the harder this becomes. Our routines become more deeply rooted. That’s why it’s so difficult for older people to make drastic life changes. But one day, we’ll be the elderly. And if we’re not satisfied with how we’re living now… the time to change is now.

My Own Struggle

A classic habit we all want but struggle to build: exercising.

Most of us know how important it is for our future health. But knowing isn’t doing.

I was lucky to pick up sports as a kid. Football (soccer) was my life, and being active was second nature. But once I grew up, slowed down on sports, and started working full-time, it got harder. I wasn’t playing regularly anymore—and I had never been to a gym. It just wasn’t part of my routine.

Even though I understood the importance of staying fit as I got older, my subconscious brain was getting lazy. I went to the gym sometimes, but I lacked consistency. And without consistency, no habit can stick.

What Changed: Accountability

Despite all my efforts, I still struggled—until I learned the value of accountability.

Think about it:

Accountability is why we show up to work, keep our doctor’s appointments, and follow through for others—even when we don’t feel like it. It’s the same reason I kept showing up to football: because I was accountable to my coach, my teammates, and the team as a whole.

What if we used that same force to show up for ourselves?

I already had a gym membership and was going with my sister. But since it was unlimited and cheap, we often took it for granted. No urgency. No loss if we skipped.

Then we found a new kind of gym: group fitness classes that combine strength and cardio into a one-hour workout.

But the real game-changer?

The price tag.

We signed up for the 8 classes a month plan—which wasn’t cheap. That’s where accountability kicked in. Suddenly, I only had to commit to 8 classes a month.

But here’s the deal: if you book a class and don’t cancel at least 8 hours ahead—or you don’t show up—you’re charged a penalty fee.

Some people might find that annoying but I think it’s genius. It adds another layer of commitment. Now I’m suddenly accountable to myself because I don’t want to waste money for not going.

Having my sister as a workout partner helped too. We motivated each other without even saying much. Just knowing she was going made it harder to skip.

It’s Still Hard

Here’s the truth: accountability helps—but it doesn’t make things easy.

I’ve gone to over 100 classes, and I still have mornings where I don’t want to get out of bed. I’ve had nights with barely any sleep, days I’ve felt completely drained—but I still show up. Not because I magically feel like it, but because accountability made it harder to quit.

And every single time I finish, I feel amazing.

Yes, the workouts are hard. But our bodies are aging—and maintenance only gets tougher the longer we wait. During the workout, everything burns. Your brain tells you to stop. But that post-workout high? That sense of accomplishment… it’s everything.

You’ve got to engrave that feeling into your brain. So the next time your mind says, “skip it,” you remember how good it felt to not.

So What Now?

Ideally, you find something—or someone—that keeps you accountable. A friend. A fee. A calendar reminder. A coach. A class. Whatever it is, use it.

For me, that’s this newsletter too.

I want to get into the habit of writing and sharing my thoughts about human connection, growth, and everyday struggles. So this is me, making a public commitment to post weekly. I’m holding myself accountable in front of myself and you.

If you’ve been putting something off—starting a project, showing up for your health, making a change—this is your nudge.

Take action. Pick your accountability partner.

Because the journey might be tough, but the ending is worth it.

And don’t expect things to be easy. They probably won’t be.

But with the right accountability, the path might get a little easier. And eventually, with consistency, that hard thing might just become a habit.